Student Finds Success and Self in Asheville
Written By: Kaytee Weidenfeld
At a young age, Christiana Deloach considered herself the weird girl.
She never felt like she fit in.
Around five years old was when she knew she liked girls.
From a strong Christian family, she wasn’t able to be herself, and felt the need to hide her true identity.
“I always thought there was something wrong with me,” she said. “And that’s why people don’t like me, even my family.”
She was bullied in school for it.
Several cousins she went to school with didn’t even want her telling people they were related.
She had no one.
In her 20s, she says she turned to alcohol for acceptance. She was shy at the time, and drinking helped her loosen up.
Christiana joined the Air Force when she was 18 years old. But she says the desire to be accepted led to buying friendships and lovers.
While in the military, she says she would drink, party, dress provocatively, giving her friends money, even buying them things just so they would like her. She was able to hide her bad habit for a while, but not forever.
She was asked to go to rehab.
Christiana says she learned about the 12-step process and other tools to fight her addiction. She also participated in group therapy, her least favorite.
But Christiana says she was still drinking. She says she was kicked out of rehab twice because of it.
Also during her service the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, instituted by Bill Clinton’s regime, was the United States policy for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender service members.
“Back when I was in, if someone suspected you of being gay, bisexual, homosexual, whatever, all they had to do was tell someone,” Christiana said. “All they had to do was gather evidence and you were out.”
She says at the time she was living with her girlfriend, and a guy she worked with saw them together one day and threatened to tell their commanding officer.
She didn’t know what to do.
If they had questioned any of their friends, she says they would have found out. She was worried about getting a dishonorable discharge, but he never told.
Christiana served in the Air Force for 10 years.
After basic training she worked with security forces she says, then took training classes with the medical department at Brooks Air Force Base in San Antonio.
There she became a certified Emergency Medical Technician. She says her duties included performing physical exams, checking vital signs, drawing blood, medical exercises, and preparing individuals for deployment.
After serving in the military for a decade, Christiana says she decided to leave in order to live a lifestyle that was more her own.
She says she just wanted to be herself.
She wasn’t a fan of having to wear her hair and nails a certain way. She wanted to show her creative side and be comfortable in her own skin.
After moving to Asheville, Christiana says she has started working on creating a better life for herself, and hopes to stop drinking completely.
“I haven’t completely stopped, but only having four drinks out of eights months is pretty good for me,” she said. “I think eventually I want to stop all together.”
Now 34 years old, Christiana says she attends AB Technical Community College. She’s taking several Spanish and music classes.
After she graduates from AB Tech, Christiana says she wants to transfer to UNC Asheville and study Spanish.
She wants to teach English as a second language.
She says her biggest goal is to land a job abroad with the Department of Defense Dependents Schools after she graduates.
When Christiana isn’t focused on school, she loves to read. She says her big Saturday night out is going to Battery Park Book Exchange with her friend Erica Gunnison.
Erica says they go downtown every once and awhile, but not too often because they’re both busy.
She says Christiana is very motivated and career focused, and never noticed drinking to have a huge effect on her.
“Maybe she has some internal conflict,” Erica said, “but she’s one of the most put together people I’ve ever met.”
Christiana says drinking is one of the biggest challenges in her life and she still struggles with it every day.
But she says learning how to overcome it has made her a much stronger person.
“I think it’s made me stronger, maybe be more me, embrace my uniqueness,” she says. “Everything I was ashamed of before like being a bookworm, being different; now I’m just like, ‘I’m me.’”
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